Brookings, Oregon

She said yes
She said yes, she resented me, yes
And what was I supposed to do, let it go?

We were together for a year and a half
Well, not together, but you know
And I know a year and a half isn't a lot, but it was different
We knew each other
And then just out of left field, she says yes
Yes, I do resent you, she says
And then just stares at me

Why the hell would she say that?
I only asked in the first place to be flattered
So she gives me this stare, like, what are you gonna do you boring self obsessed fucking fuck
I told her exactly what I was gonna do

I said to her
I said to her I'm gonna walk outside and head to that ice cream stand on the corner
Buy some chocolately flavor, they don't have just plain simple chocolate
I tell her, I'm gonna walk back, probably pick up that book that I was in the middle of
I'll start the chapter over since I sorta lost interest and wasn't paying attention
I'm gonna remember that I usually like to drink tea while I'm reading, start a pot of earl grey and get comfortable on the hammock on the porch

And that's when I stabbed her
It was with a pen - no, it mighta been one of those calligraphy markers
I saw it on the counter and she was rolling her eyes and I grabbed it and

Where am I gonna go
I lived in that house
I can't go back
She's under the porch, I didn't know what else to do with her
The first thing I did was cover her head, she wasn't even dead yet
And I thought to myself, what would gacy do
I fucking laughed
I fucking laughed, I still wasn't technically a killer yet

She had those short shallow breaths you get when you think too much about breathing
Like when you can't remember where you put your tongue
Every now and then, a croak
I could tell, it wasn't gonna be much longer
So I put her under the stairs, out back

Go inside to grab something to eat, take a piss
I have no idea
You'd think you forget about all that stuff

I couldn't remember where I stabbed her

So I walk out back and drag her out from under the stairs
I had her rolled up in an old carpet we just had taken out

She's all red
There's a mark or two on her thigh
I take the bag off her head
I see I stabbed her a dozen times in the face
what the fuck
Her eyes are cold but she's looking right at me

Of course she fucking is
I grab the shovel

I can't bring myself to rip into the dirt yet
What the fuck was she looking at
She's dead and still giving me that fucking attitude
I look at the shovel and I just go berserk

I hit her four, five, six times
Different spots, just not the head
I'm scared of the noise that's gonna make it'll make me puke
Finally I stick the shovel in the ground and go at it
I get about 3 feet deep when I hit the foundation

She's not gonna fit
I think of cutting her in hal- I WAS GONNA SLICE HER UP
I loved this chick

It's fine, I fold her over and put her in
Pack in the hole with dirt but there's still a bump where her feet are
I don't even care
I can't stay here
I can't ever go back
I guess I know why she resents me