The First Time

The room was filled with old home videos, of childhood trips to the beach and family reunions
None of them were his, he didn't have any proof of his childhood
He watched them all
It was something about the frame rate and graininess and yellowed colors
Once he had been a cinema student, and he remembered, and grew embarrassed
He left

The hallway was filled with potted plants
They formed a strange forest, rearranged by a mischievous child
It wasn't altogether unpleasant, he thought
Hopefully the child's parents would feel the same way
Once he had weaved through the forest, he was in the foyer

The foyer was filled with crying relatives, and mints
Those that weren't crying were the distant relatives, and they huddled in a corner, each sucking on a mint
There was nobody in the center of the room, something about the tile cross on the floor seemed too holy to touch
He walked straight to it and waited for someone to approach him, but nobody did
A thought of laying down crossed his mind, and he allowed himself a laugh as he moved past the room
The distant relatives shared a burst of laughter themselves, but were immediately guilty about it, and quickly dispersed, forming a maze for him to push through on his way to the cafeteria

The cafeteria was filled with cutlery
Far too much for the meager feast that sat on the sad, stained tablecloths, he thought
He poured himself a glass of ice water and went to the stairwell

The stairwell was filled with the stench of cigarettes
When he was younger, he loved the smell
It didn't take long for him to pick up the habit once he was independent of his parents
A girl he dated once told him she wouldn't kiss him until he quit
It didn't take long for him to quit
They never kissed, anyway
He didn't find the smell in the stairwell quite as favorable, and quickened his pace to the roof

The roof was filled with a low humming noise that made his stomach wobble
There was a time when he believed such a sound was an omen
Littered across the roof were dead flowers, mostly roses
They had likely been left behind by other grievers
He wondered if the people that had left the flowers were still grieving

The ground was filled with rocks and asphalt and other hard things
It split him open like a tomato