Of My Retreat To The Sprawl

i have lived the loneliest day of my life thrice over
meeting you
the first time was nearly too much for my heart to handle
to hear your name from your own mouth was to see the missing piece of myself in front of me
to do it for a second time was the collapse of the innermost part of my heart
seeing you, reborn, renamed, my honest demise
the third
stole my breath
drained my heart
paralyzed me
and i lay here
the broken mess your indifference has diminished me to
cherishing the last bit of sentience i have
all that i am resigned to
that which i know you will one day return for
with my sleep, i pray i may meet you one final time
for to live without the loneliness you provoke in me is to forfeit my own heart
(goodnight)