Giving Her her Name

I would not be surprised to learn, after everything

that we did save each other.

I am however, in complete denial that we won't be together forever.

I don't recognize your tone of voice

in showing your concern.

You didn't realize my lecture in patience

to accept yourself.

I moved backwards

You moved backwards

is this how we finally dance? 

In this moment we are in lockstep

parallel steps

peeking over our shoulders at the other

I couldn't imagine being more in sync with you

I will love you forever, Shayda.

We Can't Do it All in One Moment

i want to feel whole

in the way you made me realize i can

not the way you made me feel

we don't need to be lovers for that

the way we saw each other gave us an extra pair of limbs to use

and we wreaked havoc

we expressed everything we felt with a megaphone

we lurched and made ourselves big and made ourselves small

transfigured ourselves 

and fucked each others shadow

we were everything we could be 

and sparred

and then you stormed off

how fun it was! come back

We Made Harmony and Heard Tension

locked out

holding pattern

holding you in my arms

locked into the person we thought the other was in love with

we have so much more to offer the world than our art

you are more than woman and more than man and i love all of you

adore all of you

 no, there's nothing here. i shouldn't have told you i'd write you.

moment of weakness

i can't play coy
i'm trying to cope with youth
like i used to with dysphoria
it's a bitter battle
it's a better one
-s